Nine months of maternity leave bliss has ended and it was my first week back at work. I can’t even begin to tell you just how sad I am; it means my little boy is growing up – way too fast!
Everyone tells you to enjoy them while they’re so little and to cherish every second you get with them while they’re still babies, but people will never be able to tell you enough until you’ve been through it yourself and realise just how quick time goes.
Friday was the killer for me, only because Toby wasn’t awake before I left and I didn’t get to give him a full on cuddle or kiss. All I could do was give him a quiet wave goodbye at his bedroom door while he was still asleep. I was literally wishing all the time away so I could get home.
However, there are certain things I do enjoy about being back at work. The first obviously being that I will no longer be on maternity pay (hip hip hooray!) so it means more pennies in the bank, which will help with the wedding savings, and first birthday presents for T (oh my god, will he really be 1 already?).
Secondly, who misses adult conversation? Someone who doesn’t just say ‘da da da’ back at you, and people who don’t want to talk about bottles and bum changes. It’s nice to have a bit of normality back and remember you had a life before you had your baby.
Thirdly, a bit of structure never hurt anybody. I enjoy knowing what I’m going to be doing for the time I’m at work. I’ll be doing ABC between X hours and DEF between Y hours – simple yet effective. It further encourages me to make the most out of the time I’m not at work, and plan things to do with Toby when I’m at home.
You don’t have to think about anything else except yourself and your workload. Being back at work isn’t all doom and gloom. Yes, you do have to be more organised about when you’re going to do that load of washing, and who’s going to be cooking that night. But, and this is a HUGE but, you really learn to appreciate the time you have at home with your children. You forget what it’s like to be away from them for extended periods of time, and I know when I’m not around my son I literally feel like I’ve lost a limb.
But we must all remember the best, and most rewarding, job you could ever do is be a mummy!
How did you feel when you went back to work?
I literally couldn’t have predicted his reaction. He asked me if I was joking, and I said no. Considering I’d actually played a joke on him a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t blame him for being sceptical. “What do you want me to do? Pee on a stick to prove it?”. We both started nervously giggling. I suppose the only thing we could both agree on was that neither of our reactions was negative. No, it wasn’t planned, but it was what we’d both want eventually.
For a few minutes, an alternative option crossed my mind, but considering I had previous experience of this at 21, the idea went as quick as it came. I suppose I could only justify thinking it because of where we were living at the time and not forgetting we’d been together less than a year, as well as money. Things I guess normal people would still think about even if they had been trying.
“I normally speak to my mum about things like this”. I could only suggest that that’s what we’d do then. We’d go and speak to his mum, and hopefully I’d come back with a head. I was actually shitting myself. She was going to bloody kill me wasn’t she? He texted her to say that we were popping round and we needed to talk about something. The whole way to their house, I was dreading walking through the door.
When we got into the kitchen, his mum was cooking and his brother was hovering around. We were reluctant to share our news while his brother was around, so made small talk for a bit, and then he left. “Mum, we’ve got something to tell you”. I sat on the kitchen stool, stomach hanging somewhere around my arse. What we didn’t know at the time was that she hadn’t actually read her text message and so didn’t even think anything was wrong. She just looked at us and asked us what the matter was. “Um. Jade’s pregnant”. And the tears started.
Oh shit, she was upset, I was literally going to get an earful. Again, I couldn’t have been more wrong. She was really happy for us both. We then waited for his dad to come home and tell him too. A very happy chappy. I did bring up the “alternative option” just to gather thoughts and was only discouraged from doing so, another positive. Only one person left to tell here – his brother.
Now, what I haven’t told you is that for at least two months, we had all been joking about Jamie and I being pregnant, and his brother becoming an uncle. So, to actually tell him we were pregnant was going to be funny.
The only reaction he could muster was a tea towel over his face and head, pacing around saying “I can’t believe it”, “no you’re not”, “oh my god”.
Needless to say, we were going to have a baby! I had an emergency scan and midwife appointment booked. Due to the nature of my background (no periods, still on the pill), they had to go from the date of my last period, and so could only assume I was already somewhere around 22 weeks pregnant – which I definitely was not by the look of me. The following week I found out we were 8 weeks pregnant, and due on 26th August.
This is our 20 weeks scan
After everything and more I didn’t want for childbirth, Toby finally arrived on 30th August at 12.37pm. I wouldn’t change it for the world.