Nine months of maternity leave bliss has ended and it was my first week back at work. I can’t even begin to tell you just how sad I am; it means my little boy is growing up – way too fast!
Everyone tells you to enjoy them while they’re so little and to cherish every second you get with them while they’re still babies, but people will never be able to tell you enough until you’ve been through it yourself and realise just how quick time goes.
Friday was the killer for me, only because Toby wasn’t awake before I left and I didn’t get to give him a full on cuddle or kiss. All I could do was give him a quiet wave goodbye at his bedroom door while he was still asleep. I was literally wishing all the time away so I could get home.
However, there are certain things I do enjoy about being back at work. The first obviously being that I will no longer be on maternity pay (hip hip hooray!) so it means more pennies in the bank, which will help with the wedding savings, and first birthday presents for T (oh my god, will he really be 1 already?).
Secondly, who misses adult conversation? Someone who doesn’t just say ‘da da da’ back at you, and people who don’t want to talk about bottles and bum changes. It’s nice to have a bit of normality back and remember you had a life before you had your baby.
Thirdly, a bit of structure never hurt anybody. I enjoy knowing what I’m going to be doing for the time I’m at work. I’ll be doing ABC between X hours and DEF between Y hours – simple yet effective. It further encourages me to make the most out of the time I’m not at work, and plan things to do with Toby when I’m at home.
You don’t have to think about anything else except yourself and your workload. Being back at work isn’t all doom and gloom. Yes, you do have to be more organised about when you’re going to do that load of washing, and who’s going to be cooking that night. But, and this is a HUGE but, you really learn to appreciate the time you have at home with your children. You forget what it’s like to be away from them for extended periods of time, and I know when I’m not around my son I literally feel like I’ve lost a limb.
But we must all remember the best, and most rewarding, job you could ever do is be a mummy!
How did you feel when you went back to work?
I literally couldn’t have predicted his reaction. He asked me if I was joking, and I said no. Considering I’d actually played a joke on him a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t blame him for being sceptical. “What do you want me to do? Pee on a stick to prove it?”. We both started nervously giggling. I suppose the only thing we could both agree on was that neither of our reactions was negative. No, it wasn’t planned, but it was what we’d both want eventually.
For a few minutes, an alternative option crossed my mind, but considering I had previous experience of this at 21, the idea went as quick as it came. I suppose I could only justify thinking it because of where we were living at the time and not forgetting we’d been together less than a year, as well as money. Things I guess normal people would still think about even if they had been trying.
“I normally speak to my mum about things like this”. I could only suggest that that’s what we’d do then. We’d go and speak to his mum, and hopefully I’d come back with a head. I was actually shitting myself. She was going to bloody kill me wasn’t she? He texted her to say that we were popping round and we needed to talk about something. The whole way to their house, I was dreading walking through the door.
When we got into the kitchen, his mum was cooking and his brother was hovering around. We were reluctant to share our news while his brother was around, so made small talk for a bit, and then he left. “Mum, we’ve got something to tell you”. I sat on the kitchen stool, stomach hanging somewhere around my arse. What we didn’t know at the time was that she hadn’t actually read her text message and so didn’t even think anything was wrong. She just looked at us and asked us what the matter was. “Um. Jade’s pregnant”. And the tears started.
Oh shit, she was upset, I was literally going to get an earful. Again, I couldn’t have been more wrong. She was really happy for us both. We then waited for his dad to come home and tell him too. A very happy chappy. I did bring up the “alternative option” just to gather thoughts and was only discouraged from doing so, another positive. Only one person left to tell here – his brother.
Now, what I haven’t told you is that for at least two months, we had all been joking about Jamie and I being pregnant, and his brother becoming an uncle. So, to actually tell him we were pregnant was going to be funny.
The only reaction he could muster was a tea towel over his face and head, pacing around saying “I can’t believe it”, “no you’re not”, “oh my god”.
Needless to say, we were going to have a baby! I had an emergency scan and midwife appointment booked. Due to the nature of my background (no periods, still on the pill), they had to go from the date of my last period, and so could only assume I was already somewhere around 22 weeks pregnant – which I definitely was not by the look of me. The following week I found out we were 8 weeks pregnant, and due on 26th August.
This is our 20 weeks scan
After everything and more I didn’t want for childbirth, Toby finally arrived on 30th August at 12.37pm. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I’d been on the pill since I was 14, more for regulation than pregnancy prevention, and had always been ”regular’. However, in 2008 my periods stopped for 6 months and every month I would do a pregnancy test just in case! I carried on taking the pill as usual but I eventually went to question why it was happening. My local Well Woman Clinic nurse told me that it sometimes happens, not to worry and that they would just start again of their own accord – even though there was no obvious reason for it.
So, when I missed a period in September 2013 and had a negative pregnancy test, I didn’t think anything of it. The same happened again each month; I did my last pregnancy test on 22nd December 2013, another negative response and assumed it was 2008 all over again, until I found a lump in my right breast. I immediately panicked, thought the worst and even put that down as the reason for me not getting my periods. The earliest I could get in to see the doctor was 8th January, even after explaining on the phone the nature of the appointment.
The day of the appointment comes round and I’m called in. I explain everything as above and the first thing he asks me to do is to take a pregnancy test, and in between doing it and getting the result we’d wait for the female chaperone. At this point, he was just wanting to rule things out, so I complied and thought absolutely nothing of it. I remember he set a timer on his iPhone so he would know when the test was ready to give us the results, and I was 1000% sure I knew what the result would be – negative of course. Wrong.
He turned to me slowly and said ”Um.. yeah.. well.. this is positive. That’ll explain the lump”. The chaperone knocked on the door, popped her head in and he promptly sent her away saying that we’d gotten to the root of the issue. I was in complete and utter shock. Everything had been against us even if we were trying for a baby! I wasn’t getting my periods AND I was still taking the pill. Now I had the task of telling my other half not really knowing how he would react. First, I had to get through a whole day of work!
When I got to work I sat at my desk as normal, but would find myself snapping back to reality after I’d obviously been day dreaming. I wasn’t alright, I just kept wondering how it happened, what we were going to do and how or if we would cope. We had only been together just shy of a year. I got home that day and took a leftover pregnancy test thinking the doctor was definitely wrong. In fact, it was me who was wrong. I got straight into bed, clothes and all thinking that if I went to sleep, I’d wake up and people would be laughing and telling me it was all a big joke. Just as I was about to drift off, my other half walked through the door. Shit. I really was going to have to tell him.
He asked how the doctors appointment had gone as I hadn’t texted him all day. I told him it was ”erm.. interesting”. I just couldn’t tell him, so I buried my face in the pillow and hid under the duvet. Eventually, after him asking me repeatedly to tell him what was going on, I reluctantly peeked up from behind the duvet and just came out with it.
Keep your eyes out for my next post, ‘How it ended..’!
It’s sometimes bad enough going down the road with a baby in the car, so how would you fancy a nice long 15 hour drive with one? No? Thought you might say that.
Let me tell you, it’s easier than you think. After recently getting back from the annual skiing holiday, I can honestly say I was relieved that the car journey was over, because I was the one who was most uncomfortable. With a sleepy eyed partner for a passenger, and a sleeping baby in the back, I think I was the only one bothered about getting home quickly; those two couldn’t have been more.. asleep.
We didn’t really have a choice when it came to our choice of travelling. It was either “pay £600+ per person for a 1 hour 10 minute flight” or ”get in the car and drive it” – bloody half term prices.
The best thing you can do is try and stick with your baby’s routine. We left quite late in the afternoon so that we’d only have to stop for one last bottle before “bed time”; that way we hoped he might sleep for the biggest part of the journey, which he did after only waking up a couple of times. Luckily, with only an hour difference in France, it was easy to get him on French time, then back to English time.
Keep a stock of bottles to hand. We prepped all of ours in advance as we normally would and just dispensed the formula into the water as and when he was normally due a feed. Keep a handful of dummies in the front with you. You don’t want to be unplugging your seatbelt for half of the journey to go on a hunt for a dummy in baby Narnia (aka – the carseat). I mean, how many places can one dummy go?
Make sure your baby is comfortable. Don’t smother them with blankets, because your car will get warm quickly. We dressed Toby in a vest and baby grow for the journey, I certainly wouldn’t bother with cute chinos and a top. But if like us, you’re going somewhere cold, make sure you keep a coat (or something equally as warm) unpacked in the car with a hat so, when you eventually get out, they’re not freezing! We also put the wedge back in our car seat so that Toby was in a more horizontal position, rather than being crunched in two, which genuinely helped massively when it was time for sleeping!
Get a rear seat mirror and kill two birds with one stone. Babies are fascinated with faces, and what better way to keep them entertained than looking at their own. Secondly, it offers you the chance to keep an eye on your baby while you’re driving. Just attach it to the headrest in the back where their car seat is and adjust your rear view.
You don’t need to take a million and one toys like other websites say you do. We attached some flexi rings to the car seat, a colourful crinkly book, Sophie the giraffe and his taggy blanket. We did however, pack some other toys for when we were in the apartment for him to play with, as well as his Jumperoo.
A change of scenery does wonders for your baby as well as you. A long drive can be boring, and after looking at tarmac for 15 hours, you just need to look at something else. We made a few stops on the way there at some service stations. A stretch of the legs and hot chocolate for you, and a bum change, bottle and stretch for your baby.
I’m pretty sure if we do it again next year, it won’t be so easy with an almost 18 month old!
What are your best tips for a long car journey?
Sorry there hasn’t been a blog post for a while, but the whole house had caught the dreaded ‘lurgy’. I am currently spending the days and nights smelling of ‘Eau du Vapour Rub’, surrounded by snotty tissues and sounding like a man.
My other half and I both had stomach flu last week and luckily Toby didn’t have that, but he did catch a cold and has now given it to us. Who says you have to appreciate and love everything your kids give to you, eh?
It’s been a bit of a mare really. It’s his first time being unwell, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and quite frankly, we weren’t sure what to do with him either! How do you get snot out of your baby’s nose? At 1.30am on the second night, we were a bit desperate and so resorted to the internet. Let me tell you what doesn’t work; blowing up one of your baby’s nostrils, so the snot comes out of the other. It just irritates them even more. So, how can you help them?
If their noses are blocked, they may find it difficult to eat as well as they usually would. Feed them little and often and continue to offer them a drink (if your baby is over 4 months, you could try them with some cooled, boiled water) to keep them hydrated.
We decided to go to our local pharmacy to try and get a bulb syringe, to help clear the endless torrent of mucous that was coming out of his little nose. They didn’t have them and so suggested that we use a nasal saline spray as this would help to “dry it up”. In my opinion, it didn’t make that much of a difference. I ended up buying an ”NUK nasal aspirator” from Boots. Now, they’re not the easiest things to use, just because babies don’t want to keep still and have something shoved up their nose, but it does work. Should your little one really detest it, there’s no surer sign of love than sucking it our yourself!
The next thing I would recommend is “Snuffle Babe”. The equivalent of our “Vick”, I absolutely love the smell of this and it works wonders. Rub a bit on baby’s chest and soles of their feet (I’m told it helps), and if your baby has one, I always rub any excess on their comforter or muslin. If you don’t want to put it directly on or near your baby, dissolve some in some boiling water and leave it to steam in their room (out of reach, please!).
I would also advise that you slightly tip their cot. We placed books under the feet at one end and this helped no end with helping Toby to breathe a bit better.
Lastly, colds aren’t that serious, but if your baby does develop a temperature, please keep an eye on it. Depending on the age of your baby you could either give them ‘Calpol’ or ‘Calprofen’ to bring it down. This might even help to settle them a bit.
Please remember that colds aren’t curable, we can help to ease their discomfort though. If your baby is under 3 months old, it’s always worth getting them checked over by a doctor, even if you think it is just a cold.
When they’re a bit older, it’s easier for them to be ill; they can tell you where and what hurts, if they feel sick and what they want. In the meantime, babies can only cry and you’ll just have to guess like the rest of us.. I guess.
‘Baby’ and ‘routine’ in the same sentence together is likely to provoke instant venom amongst some of you, while others will whole heartedly agree that getting your baby into a routine is best. So should routines be implemented from the off, or not?
I honestly believe they should. So why get your baby into a routine in the first place? Well, I think it’s common sense. Surely it’s crucial to establish a mutual schedule so you both know (more, or less) what’s coming next. In the beginning, a baby’s needs are minimal; eating, sleeping and playing. It’s hard as a first time mum to work out what each cry means, and if you’re leaving it to chance you’ll end up going through every possibility before actually getting the right one.
Creating that balance from day one practically eliminates all need for guesswork. You and your baby will both be happier and know what to expect next. This further allows for you to plan your days out when you’re ready to venture outside. You’ll know when your baby is due to feed (although this can be slightly harder when breastfeeding – I just worked out where I could go in public but still be discreet about it) and due to nap. Secondly, anybody who wants to help out with babysitting won’t have to guess either. You’ll be able to give them (roughly) a time when your baby is due to eat, sleep or want to be entertained.
When should you start getting your baby into a routine? Experts are often in disagreement, but I’m not really one for listening to them and tend to go with the flow. I’d say from day one – the sooner you get something established, the easier it will be. I breastfed exclusively for 6 weeks, and stopped completely somewhere around the 10 week mark. It was pretty hard at first considering breast-feeding is an ‘on-demand’ job but it did get easier – luckily for me the routine just fell into place. It also makes night times a dream. Our little one slept through from 11 weeks once we’d got him into a proper routine and he’d learned day from night. It’s amazing what good a bit of uninterrupted sleep can do for you!
Consistency is key for any routine, so stick with it. Babies tend to be so much happier when they don’t want anything, thus all focus can be on play time and allowing them to explore the world around them happily!
What’s your baby routine? How quickly did it take for you to settle in first time round?
Every first time mum will have gone through the same questions about weaning; why?, when?, what?, how?, where?, WTF?!!!!
I have read so many guides, leaflets and books on weaning it’s actually ridiculous. Personally, they’re only good for one thing; recipes and coupons! Here’s my quick and concise view on weaning, answering all the above questions.
Why would you start weaning your baby?
Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? No. It’s not. There are so many different reasons mums start weaning their babies. Some do it only because ”that book says so”, others ”because my friend’s baby is”. The truth is, you wean your baby because they’re ready to move on to the next stage of their food. It could be that milk just isn’t filling them up any more, or it could get to the stage where, in a health professional’s opinion, they should be started on solids.
When should you start doing it?
4 months, 5 months, 6 months? Quite honestly, it’s when YOU feel your baby is ready. Not when a guide says so, or your mum-in-law says you should. Look for the obvious signs of not feeling full up, chewing at their hands (although this could mean they’re teething too) and staring at your food. Other people suggest that your baby should be able to sit up unaided – in my opinion, that’s rubbish. My little boy can sit up in his highchair on his own, but not the floor, and he’s quite happy and able to sit there and eat his food! I’d also suggest doing it when they’re not grumpy, I started doing it about 20 minutes before he would have his bottle.
What the hell do you feed babies?
Food, of course. I started with baby rice, others start with baby porridge. There’s no right or wrong. I agree that it should be mixed with your baby’s usual milk though, just so there’s something familiar going in their mouth. Weaning guides are good for getting the “first taste” ideas. It’s also best to introduce new things one at at time.; one of the best reasons for doing this is to identify any allergies they may have to the food! Just mix some of their milk in, feed them what you think they want (start with small quantities) and then once they’re finished, feed them the rest of their bottle.
How do you feed your babies?
With a spoon, a huge cheesy grin on your face and lots of enthusiasm. Another method may be from a pouch, eliminating any need for cutlery really. I haven’t tried my baby with a pouch yet, although I’m a big believer of home-made food, as you know exactly what’s gone in there. You can get a kit from Fill ‘n’ Squeeze for all your home made meals to be mashed and squished into a pouch for you to either freeze, or take out and about with you or feed to your baby straight away. Don’t get me wrong, I still use jars, but home made is always best!
Where should you feed your baby?
I started with doing it at home, and in a highchair (see previous review post). The last thing you want is to try it for the first time round the in-laws where they’ll tell you to “do it this way” or “try that” (mine didn’t, thankfully) or out in public somewhere. Make sure the surroundings are familiar. As my little one isn’t too messy at the moment, I do feed him in our living room. However, as he gets older I’ll move it to the dining room. That way he knows it’s time for eating, and if it does get messy (it really will) I don’t have to scrub spaghetti hoops out of the carpet.
Exactly. WTF?, indeed. Nobody knows what it’s really all about (maybe the Hokey Cokey). Just go with what you feel is comfortable for you both and wing it!
- As baby gets older, give them a starter cup with a drink in it so they get used to having one with their meal.
- Once they want to try feeding themselves, give them a spoon as well so they can help you do it.
- If they want to play with their food, let them. It makes it fun, they get to explore food and get messy! Who really cares if it adds to the washing?
What are you top weaning tips?